So c^*p!

The tree is dead already.

Who thought it was a good idea to buy it December 1st? Not me.

We never buy the tree December 1st. We’re a week before christmas family.

Look at it.

O.k. So it might look only slightly dead to you, but, to me it’s drooping in that droopy, depressing way that makes me want to droop along with it, and it’s losing its color, and the ornaments are all over the place wrong on it, and it’s just looking sick and tired.

In other words dead. At least to me.

It’s never going to make another 10 days.

I was seriously thinking of going out to get another one, but, I just can’t do it capt’n, it doesn’t seem right. So, fake it is.

I don’t want a fake tree, but, look at it, even a dead twig has got to look better than that.

So sad though I might be about going fake, and, dismayed that I will have betrayed the real deal, there’s nothing else for it – it’s got to be done.

Where to get it though, that’s the question.

I was looking on-line and found Balsam Hill. Who could go wrong with a name like that? But, they’re so expensive. $600 – over a thousand. Not happening for me especially as the $600 ones were smaller than I wanted.

I know, call me cheap.

So, we went looking in the shops and they were nasty, so we came back and looked on-line more. Frontgate got bad reviews so I kept coming back to Balsam Hill, and I was getting sadder and sadder and the tree droopier and droopier. First the reindeer are still not out, and, now the tree is (mostly) dead. Santa will think we have given up on him completely.

This morning I looked at Balsam Hill one more time as I was almost, but not quite, resigned to spending the money on one as I’ve been wasting it on dead trees all this time anyway, and what do you know? There is a Santa after all. The trees were 50% off and free shipping. I got one for $250.

Now, don’t hold your breath, it’s probably going to be all fake in a bad way and horrible and I’m going to regret it and I’ll write and moan about it later, (yes, you know I will), but, for now I’m just happy that something will be up for Christmas that doesn’t look like a dead, droopy, yellow thing.

–