Oh yes,

Things to think about on Saturdays.

But first, I’d like to tell you that my knees ache. Thought I’d better get that out of the way.

On Saturdays you wake up tired because the night before two men knocked on the door and, very pushily, got you to buy three books for the children’s hospital for $252!

Three.

Sparkle World.

Strawberry Shortcake.

And

Turtle – which was the cheapest at only $70.

Yes, I know. Just don’t open the door. But you see N did it. She was walking by the door when they knocked and felt she had to open it as they’d seen her. I said, why didn’t you pretend you’re deaf. She said, it just all happened so fast.

So, there you go, not my fault.

I really do try. I practiced saying no all the way to the door, but, P is away in Lubbock, cleaning carpets that have been thrown up on by previous tenants and trying to fix the whole, son, when you just happen to leave your sofa outside in the student apartment hallway someone will more than likely run off with it, problem – and it was late, and dark, and I was nervous.

Why go for the $252 prize you might ask, and not the cheapest package they could offer? Perhaps you could have just gone for the $70 magazine subscription that you can be sure never to receive?

Well, ask me again because I have no idea.

I think the logical side of my brain ran down my spineless back just as I stepped outside, and didn’t come back again until the whole, disturbing experience was over.

That’s when I phoned the bank, cancelled the check and took a xanax, all while trying to keep up with what the #&*@** Nicki Minaj was wearing on American Idol.

Maybe no one will bother to ask me for money if I dressed up like this.

That’s coz they’d have to pay me …

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