Perhaps it’s because the studio is being renovated and I’m make-doing in my dining room.
Perhaps it’s because we left for a visit home and I got all jet-lagged and everything.
Maybe I’m homesick and don’t know it.
Or perhaps it’s just one of those, ‘it goes in cycles’ things.
Whatever it is, it better hurry up and sort itself out because I don’t want to play any more…
I don’t think I’ll ever understand how one day you can’t put a foot wrong. Everything is going right for weeks and weeks and weeks and then bam! you go to bed one night and the next day you can’t make a darn thing work.
To be fair on myself, I am betwixt and between things.
I’m in the dining room trying to work and all around me my house is in boxes waiting for its turn to be renovated. It’s unsettling as I’m always thinking I should be doing something else.
There are always people in my studio, which of course is where they should be, but I feel as though I’m just in here twiddling my thumbs. Not getting on with anything ‘important’.
And to top it all off I just finished a few pieces that I ended up melting down because they weren’t doing it for me.
And so my world has ended.
Woe and more woe.
I look at all the beautiful pieces that people are making on Instagram and think – why?
What has my life come to?
Will I ever be able to make anything again?
Well that’s what it feels like anyway.
I must admit that since I stopped making my jewelry for charity I kind of feel that I’ve lost my purpose. Where’s the reason for making it?
I reached a mile stone for the amount I gave to charity and thought that perhaps it was enough. That considering the world’s horribleness doesn’t look like it’s going to be fixed any time soon that mine was a pretty futile effort.
I don’t know.
I enjoyed sharing what I’d learned with others, but now it seems I can’t even come up with anything remotely interesting so that’s also gone out of the window.
So roll on tomorrow and bring me some meaning.
Or at least a spark of interest.