‘To lose one parent, Mr Worthing, may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness.’

Well, that was the longest month of my life and I don’t think I’ll be getting over it any day soon.

Loved my dad.

I think a lot of people must have as the crematorium was overflowing with people standing that he’d known since he was in his twenties. Colleagues from Ford’s where he’d worked since he was a lad and from where he’d retired nearly twenty five years ago.

Amazing that some of these men had tears in their eyes as they all agreed he was an exceptional man, willing to help anyone and with not a bad word to say about anyone.

Practically the whole street came out to mourn him with us. Even a little five year old boy brought down a card because he’d heard that the old man who let him hold his dog’s leash as he walked home from school had died.

Let’s just say that I can’t believe I just left him there to come back to the States . Doesn’t seem right to just get on with things as if it were normal.


For anyone who knows me they shouldn’t be surprised that, amid the tears, I’m going to give it a darn good shot.



34 thoughts on “‘To lose one parent, Mr Worthing, may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness.’

  1. I feel your pain…lost my Dad 11 years ago and it is still fresh. It has to be some comfort to witness how loved he was. I hope your sweet memories wrap themselves around you when you feel most alone…..

    • coldfeetstudioblog

      Thanks Patti. And I do have some good memories. It’s amazing how they can just go. I almost feel like a child who just does’t understand what just happened.

  2. Sorry for your loss 🙁

    • coldfeetstudioblog

      Thank you.

  3. I’m so sorry for you. You were so fortunate to have a parent you loved so very dearly. I can understand why you would feel it so much. I had a grandmother like that. Working seems to help so many things. Your comments brought tears to me.

    • coldfeetstudioblog

      As yours did to mine Sue. His mum was the same, when our nan died it seemed everyone knew and liked her. I still miss her also, but dad is hard.

  4. Anonymous

    So sorry for your loss. You are right, you never get over the loss of a parent but you learn that they want you to get on with your life. The best way to honor them is to resume your life and find happiness. Tough time for you.

    • coldfeetstudioblog

      Thanks Anne. I just came in from the studio and the first thing I thought was to phone dad to tell him what I’m up to today. Bummer.

  5. I missed you. Not as much as you’ll miss your dad, I guess. Lost mine when I was 9, and I’ve always thought that should never happen to anybody ever again.

    I’m with Unamuno: “Work is the only practical consolation for having been born.” Glad you have the kind of work that will sustain you. Carry on.

    • coldfeetstudioblog

      🙂 Missed you too Gale. God, nine! Just not right is it…

  6. Anonymous

    Don’t know you. Never met you. Yet I feel for you, and the community of people that care about you reaches all the way to Los Angeles. Be sweet to yourself. I’m so sorry for your loss.

    • coldfeetstudioblog

      Thanks 🙂

  7. Anonymous

    My dear friend, losing someone as special as a parent is upending… Grieving with you for your loss. May God give you comfort during this time…know that He cares and so do your friends. May you create something beautiful to help ease your pain. We love you Deb!

    • coldfeetstudioblog


  8. I’m so sorry you and your family have suffered this loss. It is terrible to lose someone. Your Dad sounds like he was well loved, and his life well-lived. That is the very best, in my opinion, that we can all aspire to. I’ll be thinking of you.

    • coldfeetstudioblog

      I agree. I wish he could have seen how many people came to see him off. I think he would have been surprised.

  9. wiredweirdly

    My heart breaks for you and your family. It isn’t easy to post/update at a time like this, but I’m glad you did. I’m thinking of you and sending healing strength your way.

    • coldfeetstudioblog

      Thanks Angie.

  10. Jane Winningham

    Glad it went well and I was thinking about you while you where over there sorry about the loss I know how you loved your dad xxx❤️?

    • coldfeetstudioblog

      Thanks Jane.

  11. Mary B

    I lost my dad when I was 10. I don’t remember too much about him and wish I had more memories than I do. You have many memories to hold on to and I know it’s hard when someone you love so much has gone. I do understand about calling him to tell him something. That will go on for a while or when the phone rings, you think it’s him calling to talk to you. Stay strong and get back into your work. You have a lot to offer. I missed your blogs while you were away and it’s good to hear from you.

    • coldfeetstudioblog

      That’s horrible. Gale lost hers when she was nine. I’m lucky to have had mine for so long.

  12. Serina Laney

    So very sorry for your loss. There really are no words.

    • coldfeetstudioblog

      🙁 thank you.

  13. I’m sorry for your loss. I lost my dad this past October and it’s weird – I sometimes think he is still here and I forget. Peace and blessings to you and your family,

    • coldfeetstudioblog

      I know. Even though he still lived in England I would talk with him all the time. I keep having to stop myself when I reach for the phone.

  14. Jean Watkins

    So sorry about your dad. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

    • coldfeetstudioblog

      Thanks Jean.

  15. Anonymous

    I am glad you are back and that you are going to give it a go, your dad would have wanted that. You were in my thoughts all the time. You are so fortunate to have had such a wonderful relationship with your dad, and you will have these wonderful memories always. I got so sad reading all the beautiful comments above, are’nt people just wonderful! Stay strong! Cecilia Robinson

    • coldfeetstudioblog

      Yes, I was thinking that also Cecilia. I wasn’t going to share such personal news, but it has made me feel better. Every one has touched me.

  16. So terribly sorry for your loss. We just lost my sister-in-law this week, who was the matriarch of our clan, so to speak. A person who has lived their life well as your Dad very clearly has, as evidenced by the turnout for his memorial, leaves a big gap, but also many wonderful memories and lessons to carry you forward in life.

    • coldfeetstudioblog

      Thanks Karin. So sorry about your sister-in-law also. It is always too soon to lose anybody…

  17. I’m so sorry. How lucky you were to be so close to him. He’s smiling down on you now I’m sure.

    • coldfeetstudioblog

      I was really lucky, yes 🙂

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